In my mother's honor

My mother was the pillar of my life, my source of strength, wisdom, and unconditional love. She was an extraordinary woman, full of grace, resilience, and quiet courage. Every value I hold, every strength I have, and every good part of who I am today is a reflection of her guidance and love.

To honor her memory and the beautiful life she lived, I created this photo story. This is a tribute to a remarkable woman whose legacy continues to live on in my heart and in all the lives she touched.

My mother (9 years) sitting extreme left with her family 

My mother was born on January 12, 1930, in Kozhikode, Kerala, to Parappil Rukmini Amma and Ullattil Karunakara Menon. Her father, a progressive and principled man, served as an officer under the British government and believed deeply in the value of education, especially for his daughters, which was uncommon for the time.

She grew up in a loving household with two sisters and a brother, who would later become one of the earliest members of the Indian Civil Service (known as the IAS after independence). Her early years were shaped by a forward-thinking upbringing, and she was enrolled, along with her sisters, in St. Joseph’s Convent in Kozhikode, a prestigious school run by Irish nuns. It was in this environment that her lifelong love for learning and discipline took root.

As a teenager, standing second from right

After her father retired as the Director of Fisheries, the family relocated to Tirur, Kerala. My mother continued to excel academically, she was an exceptionally bright student. One of her classmates, who would later become a distinguished lawyer at the Supreme Court, once told me that he had to work incredibly hard just to keep up with her and compete for the first rank. "She was brilliant in all the languages and sciences, while I had strength in math and history" he said

Years later, I ran into another classmate of hers who wasn’t academically inclined, but still attended school religiously. With a mischievous smile, this 84-year-old uncle confessed, "I was a poor student, but I never bunked classed so that I could see Susheela and her two friends every day! Oh, how elegant they were in their stylish clothes!"

Early twenties, standing middle with her sisters/brother in law

In 1946, my mother took a remarkable step for a woman of her time, she pursued higher education at St. Agnes College in Mangalore thanks to her supportive father. In an era when most women weren’t even allowed to complete primary school, attending college was very rare and financially burdensome for many Indian families.

She dreamed of becoming a doctor, but my grandfather, though progressive in many ways, wanted her to settle down. She married only at the age of 24, which was considered quite late in those days, when most women were expected to settle down by 16 or 17. During that time, she used the opportunity to pursue her education and earned a master’s degree in Hindi.

Soon after her wedding

She relocated to the Nilgiris in 1954 after marrying my father, Karumathil Ramanunni Nair. There, she learned baking, sewing, knitting, needlework, and other skills. She was an avid gardener as well.

After the birth of her first born

Soon after, my three brothers and I arrived, and my mother’s influence in our lives deepened. Apart from studies, she inspired us to explore music, dance, public speaking, and even acting in plays. While my father dedicated himself to guiding us in sports, it was my mother who directed several of the English plays my brothers performed in, with a level of dedication and creativity that left a lasting impact.

I still remember how she choreographed my first ever dance performance when I was just six years old which I performed at the officer's club. The song was Rajani Gandha Phool Tumhari from the Hindi movie Rajni Gandha. It’s a memory I treasure deeply.

She organized numerous philanthropic events too to support low-income families in the area, subtly planting the seed of selflessness and compassion in us. Her example of giving back and caring for others shaped not just our childhood but our values as adults.

Me and my mom

Both my mother and father were very strict parents.  My mother knew when to be assertive and when to be a friend. She managed this delicate balance with remarkable grace, always ensuring that we knew we were loved and cared for, no matter the circumstance.

Our family
(All the sweaters seen her were knitted by my mother)

My mother experienced both highs and lows in life. It particularly saddens me when I think about how, at the same age I am now, she and my father endured excruciating anguish after a relative betrayed their trust. On top of that, she faced a health crisis that almost took her life. I still wonder how she managed it all with such quiet strength and grace.

Through it all, her unwavering devotion to Lord Krishna (Guruvayurappan) was a steady anchor. Her disciplined prayer routine and her positive outlook on life kept our family grounded and resilient. Even in the darkest moments, she found a way to stay hopeful and encourage us all to do the same. Her faith was not just a personal solace, it became the foundation that kept us all strong

At my kitchen table here in US

Eventually, things took a turn for the better, and my mother went on to lead a happy, peaceful, and fulfilling life in the years that followed. She even visited me multiple times here in the United States, creating wonderful memories with each trip.

After my father passed away in 2008, she took on the management of the 20-acre rubber plantation he left her with incredible care. She planted large patches of land with turmeric, fruit trees, and more, transforming it into a welcoming oasis. Visiting her there was always a peaceful retreat, an embodiment of the love and dedication she poured into everything she did.

On her 84th Birthday

Sadly, my mother left us on October 6th, 2014. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her, the immense impact she had on my life and the lives of my brothers. She was a constant source of love, guidance, and strength. There are so many things I’ve come to realize about her that I didn't fully understand when she was alive. I often wish I could go back in time and tell her just how deeply I appreciate her—for everything she was, and for everything she did for me and our family.

I thank God every day for blessing me with a mother who was wise, caring, intelligent, and incredibly talented. She was not only well-educated, multi-lingual, and well-read, but also spiritual, selfless, dignified, compassionate, and blessed with a beautiful soul. Her strength, grace, and kindness shaped me in ways I can never fully express.

I am so grateful and honored to have been born as your daughter, Amme. I miss you!

Now a tribute to all the mothers who came before me: https://ammusmusings.blogspot.com/2022/04/8-generations-of-maternal-history.html