In my mother's honor

 

Oct 6th 2023. Today is my mother’s 9^th death anniversary. 

If she was alive she would have been 93 years old.

To honor her memory, I created this photo story of her beautiful life. 

My mother sitting extreme left with her family 

She was born in Kozhikode, Kerala on January 12, 1930, to Parappil Rukmini Amma and Ullattil Karunakara Menon. Her father worked for the British government as an officer. She had two sisters and a brother, the latter of whom went on to become one of the earliest ICS (IAS after independence) officials. Her father was a forward-thinking individual who enrolled all of his daughters in St. Joseph's, a convent run by irish nuns in Kozhikode for their academic studies.

Standing second from right

Her family relocated to Tirur, Kerala after her father retired as the Director Fisheries. She was an exceptionally bright student, and one of her classmates who later rose to prominence as a lawyer in the Supreme Court told me that he had to work extremely hard to compete with my mother for the first rank. "She was good in all the languages and sciences," he said, "whereas I was strong at math and history." Years later, I ran into another classmate who said he wasn't a good student but used to attend school just to see her! Innocently, this 84-year-old uncle comments, "I had to see Susheela and her two pals everyday so I never bunked classes! Oh! how elegant they were in their wonderful fashionable clothes!" 

Standing middle with her sisters/brother in law

In 1946, my mother continued her education at St. Agnes College in Mangalore. Most women weren’t allowed to attend college or even primary school back then. The cost of education in private British colleges was awfully high for Indians as well.

She wanted to study medicine, but my grandfather wanted her to settle down. By the time she was married, she was 24 years old, which was rather late in those days; 16-17 was the ideal age. In the interim she earned a master's degree in Hindi.

She relocated to the Nilgiris in 1954 after marrying my father, Karumathil Ramanunni Nair. There, she learned baking, sewing, knitting, needlework, and other skills. She was an avid gardener as well.

Standing second from right

My three brothers and I arrived soon after. Apart from encourging us to focus on our studies, she inspired us to engage in all forms of culture, including music, dance, public speaking and acting in plays, while my father devoted his time in helping us in sports. She even directed several of the english plays in which my brothers performed and choreographed my first dance at age 6 which I perfomed in the officer's club. I still remember the song: Rajani Gandha Phool Tumhari from the Hindi movie Rajni Gandha. She organized numerous philanthropic events for the local low-income families thus planting the seed of selflessness in us.

Me and my mom

She and my father were very strict parents.  She was assertive when necessary and a friend at other times. She managed both pretty well with all of her children and loved us all dearly.

Our family
(All the sweaters seen her were knitted by my mother)

She experienced highs and lows too. It saddens me particularly because she was the same age as I am now when she and my father went through excruciating anguish as a result of a relative betraying their trust. And she also had to go through a health crisis that almost took her life. I don't know how she managed it all back then... Her devotion to Lord Krishna (Guruvayoorappan), her diligent prayer routine, and positive outlook on life kept our entire family strong and resilient.

Eventually, things got much better and she led a very happy, peaceful, and fulfilling life in the years after, even visiting me multiple times here in the United States! After my father passed away in 2008, she managed the 20-acre rubber estate he left her with utmost care, planting large parches of land with turmeric, many fruit trees, etc. It was indeed a welcoming oasis to go to when she was there.

Unfortunately, she left us nine years ago on October 6th, 2014. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her, how much she meant to me, and the extent to which she has positively impacted my life and my brothers'. There are many things that I now realize about her which I didn't when she was alive. I wish I could go back in time and tell her how much I appreciate her!

Every year on October 6th, I thank God for providing me a mother who was wise, caring, intelligent, smart, educated, multi-lingual, well-read, multi-talented, spiritual, selfless, attractive, dignified, compassionate, and blessed with a beautiful soul. I am so glad and honored to have been born as your daughter, Amme. I miss you!